I’ve been a bit quiet on the writing front for a while, I haven’t had the inspiration, inclination or the time to be honest. That’s because there’s been a fair bit of adjusting and a lot of ‘change’ to get used to since we got back from India in February.
When ‘change’ knocks on our door unexpectedly, generally, our first reaction is to become anxious, over analyse, panic and of course worry. I have felt all of these emotions over the past month, sometimes it can seem so much easier to close up to the world than open up to feelings and face things head on.
For me, I have experienced ‘change’ that has involved having a massive house clear out, getting rid of accumulating stuff has actually been quite draining. Everything that I have thrown out has been about letting go of sentimental things from my old life and my past. Letting go is so much harder than holding on, I’ve had to tell myself, this is just stuff. Possessions that are not in use are simply an attachment of the mind and ultimately clutter.
There has also been ‘change’ that is in the form of redecorating our house. This has caused so much upheaval, messiness as well as major disruption to my work focus, as my head has been all over the place as well as my house. Meditation was not even an option for a while as my mediation space did not exist, just s quick walk with the dog had to suffice. However even our animals have been a little disoriented lately..
Another major ‘change’ that we’ve also had to take on board at the same time, has been to do with my husbands company. Without going in to detail, this has been especially unpleasant and stressful for him and is also likely to take a long time to negotiate and eventually process.
Another ‘change’ has been my son finally leaving home, not only that, but he is now living on the other side of the world for a while, which will take some getting used to. I’m so happy for this next stage of his life, its a great new adventure, but equally I miss him lots.
Then there has been ‘change’ that is very much about my body going through the ‘change’. The menopause is taking its toll, especially on my joints, consequently my yoga practice has had to change massively and to a certain extent, my lifestyle. This of course has involved a great deal of acceptance on my part but I’m getting there.
Then lastly some ‘changes’ that my husband and I have been planning and making that involve our future. In the long term this will be in the form of a very positive new beginning. However right now as we sow the first seeds, it all seems very fearful, daunting and surreal as there is so much to think about, organise and sort out before our vision eventually becomes our reality in a few years time.
Sometimes things happen in life that are completely out of our control. Situations can really impact us in a negative way, immediately shattering our status quo. Consequently, routine, sleep patterns, metabolism, relationships, work and everything in between gets disrupted. Our mindset in particularly starts to worry and overthink everything, then this leaves its mark on our body which will automatically start to hold on to tension and tightness.
So, how do we deal with disruption and feeling like we are out of our comfort zone, when we haven’t seen it coming?
Well for me, at first, everything was a haze, I didn’t know if I was coming or going for the first 2 or 3 weeks.
Then I made myself go to my yoga studio and practice for the first time in ages. It was a deal breaker, I began to feel like myself again. Feeling means I wasn’t suppressing anymore and overthinking. Instead, I got out of my head and listened inwardly to my heart as well as my intuition. This meant I was calm, trusting as well as more open and I could see a bigger picture emerging. Staying present means not looking back and not looking forward. When we can take each moment and each day at a time, to a certain degree, we are able to alleviate stress and take back control of our own destiny.
We can ask ourselves; “Am I going to feel this through, accept this, deal with it, process it, then move forwards and see a bigger picture” or “Do I stay stressed, closed, worried, overthink and try and fight the situation”. The latter is obviously the more difficult option.
My practice of yoga and meditation has always been a great life tool. The first principle of alignment that I learnt from my Anusara training was ‘Open to Grace’. This basically means stay open in the face of adversity, when things get too much, take a deep breath, soften, stay present and trust that you will be ok. Staying open means open your body, move, stretch, open your mind and open your heart to new possibilities. Embrace it all, release yourself from the limitations that bind us from freedom and saying yes to life.
When we can take the time to let go of control and slowly feel our way through upheaval and change first, we can then begin to process it. Eventually, we will learn, grow and evolve with the realisation that perhaps it was all meant to be. Problems/change are often our best teacher.
Sometimes it’s difficult to think of every action step that you need to take. Staying present and not overthinking is key, you don’t have to plan the entire solution, just plan the next step to take, and as you take that next step, plan the next step after that. If you go through this process, the outcome to the problem will often just present itself to you.
So right now, we are feeling a little lighter. We are doing our best to stay present and although it is difficult, we have envisioned each step that we need to take in order for us to get where we want to be in the future. Each step will require action on our part and maybe more stress, it’s all part of the process. I know for sure that we are definitely heading in the right direction though.
Looking back on the past month, I can’t help thinking that all of this has happened for a reason and that it will all start to unfold perfectly if we can continue to stay present and trust. We have been shown a path that may be a bit bumpy for a while but once we get over the hurdles and around the corner, the path will hopefully be smooth and sweet.
Real power is the ability to see the light and keep your heart open and positive even on the darkest of days and in the face of impermanance.
‘Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them, that only increases sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like’.